I was at Food Ranch today and Sandra Huntington asked me how old I was when my mom died. I told her I was 16 and we talked about how that is very young to lose your mother. She asked how old my mom was when she died. I told her that she had just turned 45. We talked about how young that was to be taken from your family.
She told me she could still remember where she was when she got the news that Nell Ware had died. And we chatted for a minute about all of this and then I was out the door and to my car.
As I drove home I thought about Dad and how he was 48 when he lost his wife. In all these years no one has ever asked me how old Dad was when Mom died. Or said anything about how young that is to lose your wife. Many, many people have said just what Sandra said about my age, and about Mom's age. But no one has ever asked about Dad.
48 is a year older than my age right now. So think of Todd Jeffs or Garth Luke. They are 48. That is very young to lose your wife and be left with a daughter still at home and one just starting out on her own and two others with babies. A husband who was looking forward to just the two of them at home with grand-kids entering the picture. Bishop"hood" was over and he was home more.
Wow, I just had a thought. When Dad was called to be the Bishop, he was rather young for a Bishop at that time and in this area. Now I see the wisdom of a Heavenly Father in calling him when he was called. Dad was released in August of 78. The next bishop after that was called after Mom had died so that was like the only opportunity for Dad to be Bishop. Very interesting.
Maybe it's just me and my being only 16 at the time, but it doesn't seem like many people "worried" about Dad. He was a strong man in the community. He bore everyone's burdens. And then this happened and again, people relied on him and his strength.
Just a thought I had today and wanted to share.
Tuesday, April 27, 2010
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3 comments:
Grandma was really young when she passed away. And you are right, I had no idea how old grandpa was when grandma died. It didn't even dawn on me. Thanks for the insight Julie. Grandpa was really young. And he still had 2 daughters at home (YOU!:)) he was a young grandfather. The way you put it, grandpa was called to do the things he was supposed to do at a time that there was support and he could them. He was young and he could bear the burdens.
Thanks Julie
I felt the same way when Joy Lynn died. Jay was too young to be left alone with two boys that needed attention. Last Friday night in St. George one of the Classified Employees who was honored is a young father with two young children who had recently lost his wife. That made me think about Dad as well.
I have also thought about the church and widowers. When a woman is left without a spouse, she still has visiting teachers assigned to her, as well as home teachers. Visiting teachers give her the companionship of other women, which is very important. But they also look after the temperal welfare of the home. Home teachers look after the spiritual needs and offer a helping hand for projects around the home. But it isn't the same for a man. He only has home teachers. Who is looking ofter the temperal things in the home? Is a home-teacher going to notice if the meals aren't nutritious, or the laundry isn't getting done, or the windows need to be washed. (Mine do, please help!) I am sure the man isn't going to ask for help with anything like that. I always felt that a good set of visiting-teachers should still be going to the home to give any support they can. But then, I don't organize the church programs. I guess that is what family and neighbors are for.
Man, that took me forever to post that comment! What is wrong today?
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